Black Friday or Blackout Friday, you decide

I have never done the black Friday thing. I know, you would think as a professional shopaholic I would love and cherish the crazy day after Thanksgiving extravaganza, but quite the contrary young dove. Professional shopaholics already know the ropes. Black Sunday is for amateurs and actually just throws a kink in the addiction. But this year, I really thought that I just might want to experience the frenzy that is Black Friday. I mean if you really think about it, there are so many ways you can mess with people. Grab stuff out of their carts, running around screaming, plowing into people with shopping carts, just endless opportunities really. But I don't know, sounds kinda like any other shopping day to be honest.

I decided that if I ever attempt the Black Friday shenanigans I will need the following supplies; a support team consisting of choice train wreck friends, matching team outfits (preferably velour jumpsuits that light up), a bottle of vodka, a driver, maybe some ecstasy, and a map of each store. Did I forget anything?

However, until that day actually arrives I shall stick with Blackout Friday, which is a holiday I created years ago. It's a day for those of us looking to commit ourselves to what the holidays should be and are really about, drinking and being merry! Plus, Cyber Monday is so the new Black Sunday.....duh.

A lie is a lie is a lie..........

I consider myself an honest person, probably too honest to be, well, honest. However, I have found that sometimes a little inaccuracy saves a lot of explaining and/or hurt feelings. I mean would you rather hear that someone was sick and couldn't make it to your birthday party, or that they didn't want to put forth the effort in getting ready and didn't make it to your birthday party? I like the first option myself and use it a LOT. Besides, those who brag about being brutally honest usually just get a kick out of the brutality more than the honesty.

I decided to try to avoid stretching the truth since most of those in my life, mainly my family, had began to catch on. The funny thing is that my story telling has actually decreased since I gave up on alcoholism a couple of years ago, but whatev's. However, one thing that I am a firm believer in is that some stories must go on! To reveal the truth would not only be a shame, but an overall let down to those who believe.

So I ask you, what are some half truths you cannot give up? For example: I know my niece believes in a Halloween Fairy. This is due to the fact that my sister slacked and ran out of candy this past Halloween and used all of my nieces as she "will be reimbursed with double the candy and possibly a new kitty tomorrow". This makes me proud of my sissy. You thought quick and also brought a whole new meaning to the Halloween phrase trick o treat!

Surely we can justify half truths to adults when we use them on the kiddies everyday i.e: I have eyes in the back of my head, your face will stay that way, mommy and daddy love each other, etc. Basically what I am saying is I am going to continue with my half truths and you continue with yours. No judgement ;)

I BAH-lieve!!!!!!

Sometimes you just need a little Joel Osteen. Yeah, I'm coming clean. I like Joel Osteen or at least the persona he becomes on stage. He's positive, up lifting, and makes you Bah-lieve!!!! Now don't read into this too much, I am not an organized religion type of girl. And I certainly would never blog about religion as it's terribly serious and well, I'm not.

I BAH-lieve everyone needs some daily inspiration. Mr Osteen's sermons have a calming yet encouraging effect. I understand that with admitting my Osteen obsession I am now subject to constant harassment from my friends, but check it out. "Live and Let God", kinda sounds like a rock song ;)

Quailand

Sometimes when I am bored I like to think of all the rules I would invent if I ruled the world. I have many fabulous plans so if it ever happens, don't worry, I got this.

One law that would go into effect immediately if not sooner will be referred to as the LBD law. That stands for Little Black Dog, not Little Black Dress. Yes, in the Land of Quai, I will require that everyone owns a pet, preferably a dog ;) Why? Well you can look up the stats for yourself. The health and happiness benefits alone from owning an animal is phenomenal. But more importantly, they just make you happy. The love a dog has for their owner is like nothing else. As Sigmund Freud said, "Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate".

I have always been skeptical of anyone who claims to hate animals/pets. It says a lot about them which usually leads me to avoid future contact. In Quailand they would be shipped off to an island with any disregard to the LBD law.

But let's be honest, I love my dog and this is more or less just a reason for me to post pix of him on here. Salud!!!