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| Don't be this guy! |
I consider myself a great host. I feel this way because I am told so by every guest who has stayed at my pad. Besides just making sure my house is clean and bedding is washed, I also make sure to stock the fridge with my guests favorites treats and beverages. I clear my schedule so I am available to spend time with the guests of honor and (just because I am a dork) I usually have a gift or trinket that I give them as a parting or welcome gift. Needless to say, I put some thought into it and want everyone to enjoy their stay (including moi).
However I am constantly baffled with the lack of etiquette my house guests actually have. From temper tantrums to just being a slob-kabob, I have had it all. So with this in mind, I decided to provide a basic outline to clear up any grey area that might be out there.
1) Do not invite yourself. You may laugh and think this is just too obvious. However, I constantly get the, "So, I was thinking I would come stay with you in a couple of weeks", phone call followed by, "I looked at flights and there is a cheap flight that Thursday, I don't know if you're working but". If you don't see anything wrong with this, then you are that guy. An invite should always be extended before you make a suggestion. If you feel there is always an open invite, you should start the conversation by letting the host know you would like to visit and let them elaborate with dates and suggestions. Don't expect your house guest to take time off, this is your vacation not theirs.
2) Discuss Logistics. Make sure to talk about the trip details so you can set the tone. It's always good to make the assumption that you as the guest will rent a car. Your host will offer to pick you up from the airport and be your chauffeur for the trip if they want. I like to pick my guests up, so I always outline airports and times that work. Respect those requests. I repeat......respect those requests. There are reasons why flights into LAX are so cheap at rush hour my amigos. Saving yourself $10 to put you and your host in an extra hour of traffic is poor form.
3) Prevent a hostile takeover. Don't take, "Mi casa, su casa", literally. Make sure to keep your suitcase in a low traffic area and that your items stay near or close to your luggage. Just because you are a lazy slob at home, doesn't make it acceptable at your hosts house or anywhere else. You spill something, clean it up. You dirty a dish, wash it. This seems like the most clear cut rule I have listed, but I have yet to have a house guest do this.
4) Be nice, and have fun. I get so many friends who come to stay with me and bring the drama with them. Do not be a Debbie Downer. You get one dinner to bitch about your current situation, but I shouldn't have to suffer with you. You are on vacation, have fun and check your attitude at the door! We are creatures of habit and I have seen friends get very uppity and rude when I don't have items they are used to. I have been given attitude for not having something as little as baby oil to not wanting to drive them two hours (four hours) out of my way because they want to stalk an ex-boyfriend's friend. It's hurtful and has actually caused permanent damage in a couple relationships.
5) Don't Skimp. Pay for dinner and drinks and then maybe dinner again. Show your appreciation by taking your host out to dinner and drinks at the very very least. Gifts aren't always practical when traveling, but it's the thought that counts. You bring a bottle of wine to party, so when did it become acceptable to skimp on a gift for someone who is hosting a party for you all weekend?
6) Thank you! Now a days you can tell someone, "Thank you!", via text, in a email, or a quick phone call. Which is why it's so shocking to me that this rarely happens. There is a reason why your parents embedded this into our heads since the age of two.
Bottom-line....a little goes a long way. Picking up your wine glass and putting it in the sink takes two seconds and with little to no effort you will be the guest of honor sought after time and time again.
House guest mantra: Respect and don't expect.
Much love <3 p="">
