Black Friday or Blackout Friday, you decide

I have never done the black Friday thing. I know, you would think as a professional shopaholic I would love and cherish the crazy day after Thanksgiving extravaganza, but quite the contrary young dove. Professional shopaholics already know the ropes. Black Sunday is for amateurs and actually just throws a kink in the addiction. But this year, I really thought that I just might want to experience the frenzy that is Black Friday. I mean if you really think about it, there are so many ways you can mess with people. Grab stuff out of their carts, running around screaming, plowing into people with shopping carts, just endless opportunities really. But I don't know, sounds kinda like any other shopping day to be honest.

I decided that if I ever attempt the Black Friday shenanigans I will need the following supplies; a support team consisting of choice train wreck friends, matching team outfits (preferably velour jumpsuits that light up), a bottle of vodka, a driver, maybe some ecstasy, and a map of each store. Did I forget anything?

However, until that day actually arrives I shall stick with Blackout Friday, which is a holiday I created years ago. It's a day for those of us looking to commit ourselves to what the holidays should be and are really about, drinking and being merry! Plus, Cyber Monday is so the new Black Sunday.....duh.